Everyone enjoys when Funko nails it and releases an awesome Pop! Movies line we all love. We can even respect lines they’ve released we’re not fans of, but sometimes they strike out completely and release a pile of garbage better left in the design phase. Funko doesn’t bear all the blame here though, occasionally studios release a flaming turd of a movie that Funko happened to scrape from the bottom of the license barrel. But still, there are instances where they should have known and said “Hard Pass.” There is a reason clearance sections exist and I bet you find a couple items from my top ten occupying real estate there.
Disclaimer: I’m not normally negative when writing articles, but this was too FUN!
Honorable Mention: Dory
Yes, Dory. I said it. In my opinion, it’s one of the worst/laziest pops ever made. They could have at least given her a smile. She looks like a fish that doesn’t give a damn about anything and is always picked last in dodgeball.
10. Star Trek Beyond
Ok Trekkies, don’t get too excited here. Most of you don’t even like this third installment of the third movie franchise reboot. Too many threes here. Why did Funko choose this release? They could have selected either of the previous releases that were more popular. I guess they thought the third time was a charm because they jumped all in and pushed out 11 Pops before JJ Abrahams even had time to switch sides and ruin Star Wars.
9. Boss Baby
Yeah, I put Boss Baby on here. Why do you ask? Well, because it’s Boss Baby. Does this even make sense? The cheaper animated version to a better live action Look Who’s Talking, Look Who’s Talking too, and Look Who’s Talking Now. Come on, a boss that’s a baby? Three piece suits? I’m done here.
8. The Dark Tower
A great Steven King book series that everyone loves. Check. Academy Award-winning actor Matthew McConaughey. Check. Idris Elba. Check. Ruin an entire franchise before it really begins with poor directing and screenwriting. Check. I don’t blame Funko for this release, only the studio for ruining a franchise with great potential. I’m still salty over this.
7. Power Rangers (2017)
Bryan Cranston, what were you thinking? I hope they paid you a boatload of cash for that voice over work! I think this is a line Funko could have avoided. The movie wasn’t terrible, but I say stick with the classics here. That Alpha-5 looks like ET made love to the USS Enterprise from Star Trek and had a kid (Google it… then laugh) and the ranger suits aren’t that great.
6. Assassins Creed (Movie)
We have arrived at the largest stain on Michael Fassbender’s resume (X-Men: Apocalypse is a close 2nd). The game is awesome and it has Pop! Can we stop there? Nope. Most people know when studios turn video games into movies, most of the time they fail. This is no exception to the rule, but yet the studio decided to throw an estimated $125 Million into the production budget. I guess that confidence convinced Funko to make this line consisting of 4 Pop! figures.
5. The Mummy
Did you know that The Mummy’s Rotten Tomatoes score is lower than most school zone speed limits? It’s bad news when Tom Cruise cancels his Pop! At first, I thought it was because he didn’t like the Pop! I now know it’s because he doesn’t want to be associated with the movie. Because of this, I’ll probably NEVER see Mission Impossible pops! I’ve always held the opinion that Tom Cruise has never been in a bad movie. Then Universal released The Mummy and that winning streak came to an abrupt end. Thanks.
4. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Here’s a fun fact. Pride, Prejudice, and zombies have 6 Pop! Trailer Park Boys have zero Pop! Funko didn’t acquire this license they were paid to take it. This movie makes you rethink the whole zombie phase everyone was in for a while. I blame The Walking Dead for this nightmare. Rick and “Coral” Grimes this is all your fault!
3. Bright
Well, Will Smith, you and Tom Cruise are allowed one bad movie, but really you turn down the new Independence Day for this. Netflix must have bought you a Yacht. The only thing lazier than the Chase in this set was Will Smith’s acting in the movie. Brian, you need to ask for screeners before you ask for licenses and if you did, shame on you!
2. Warcraft
We’ve reached number two on our countdown and it’s almost too much for me. The only reason Warcraft didn’t top my list is that China and Russia saved Universal’s @$# on this one. I can’t even say it’s a failure because of this, but when the domestic total is the same as 2017’s Tyler Perry’s Boo 2! A Madea Halloween we probably need to rethink making Pop! and Mystery Minis! Stick to the game versions on this one Funko.
1. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Valerian started with two chases, then one chase and ended with no one giving a damn about chases, the movie or the Pop! Valerian had so much potential but it ended up like Cold Stone Creamy no one showed up. The visual effects were amazing, if only it were a screensaver and not a movie they would have been ok. Also, Dane DeHaan acts the same way in every movie he’s in…. terrible. I know I’m being harsh here but only because I wasted $10 and an afternoon for this. How on earth did we end up with 8 pops in this line?
What is your most despised line of Funko Pop? What should never had been created or needs to be destroyed? Leave your comments below and let us know how you really feel. Make sure to check out the podcast every week on iTunes, Spotify, or Google Play!
